| If you have to ask it's not "Shock and Awe" |
[20 Mar 2003|03:14pm] |
In honor of the start of 24 hour war coverage here is a list of clever qoutes about the french.
Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."
--Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
--Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
--Dennis Miller
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disneyworld and Big Macs than the Nazis?" --Dennis Miller
"Raise your right hand if you like the French ... Raise both hands if you are French."
--Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France."
--Jay Leno
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army a they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000, m'sieur?
"The last time the French ask for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
--Rep. R. Blount (MO)
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
-Willie
|
|
| The most loving place in the world is in Willie's bed |
[07 Feb 2003|02:58pm] |
Well my terror level just went from 'yellow' to 'orange' last night watching the two hour 'Living with Michael Jackson' interview last night on ABC. I always new ol' MJ was on the eccentric side. But his behavior is more bizarre then I ever thought possible. I think the creepiest part is with his kids and the masks they are forced to wear. It was really upsetting to watch MJ attempt to convince Martin Bashir that he loved his children as he frantically bounced his son Prince Michael II (Blanket) and fed him a bottle under a green veil.
To quote Stan from South Park after he just finished watching a German 'Scheisse Video' on the internet, "What the hell is wrong with German people?" Don't they still dig David Hasselhoff over there too? I just couldn't believe there were so many people willing to camp out for days just to get a glimpse of him. Man, if Michael was into chicks he could have been up too his eyebrows in Deutsche trim.
I did like the Disneyland railroad recreation he had going on there in Neverland. Maybe if I had the excess cash lying around I'd do that too. Only thing I wouldn't be invitin' no children to ride, my own children would be lucky to take a spin.
There seem to be a few out there who think that Bashir was harsh and that we should feel sorry for 'poor' Michael. After all he had a tough childhood. If anyone deserves to be ridiculed it's a 44 year old wealthy pop star who prefers the company of 11 year old boys instead hot chicks which most musician keep by the dozen
|
|
| From Bob and Midge |
[23 Dec 2002|08:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas Time |
] |
There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time,
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life.
Where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow.
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
|
|
| Please allow me to introduce myself... |
[08 Dec 2002|04:14pm] |
Well since I am incapable of coming up with any clever ideas on my own lately I'll just copy what brother Robert covered in his December 6th entry from his journal. And today's duplicate is: Favorite songs. Well I wouldn't call this my favorite song, but it has moved me. The song is Will You Be There, written by Micheal Jackson, many years before his decent into madness. This song is the title track from the 1994 blockbuster Free Willy. I saw a portion of this movie on an airplane on day. I had to remove the headphones about 20 minutes into the flick because the dialog was attacking my will to live. The song however speaks on it's own. I'll briefly 'translate' what Micheal is saying to help you understand.
The song begins with an ethereal James Horner like chorus, as if Micheal is decending from the heavens.
Hold Me
Like The River Jordan
And I Will Then Say To Thee
You Are My Friend
I think this is some cradle of civilization biblical reference type thing to show he loves Jesus.
Carry Me
Like You Are My Brother
Love Me Like A Mother
This shows MJ has an infantilism fetish.
Will You Be There?
Weary
My oxygen tank is on the fritz and I'm like very tired. Maybe Jesus can fix it.
Tell Me Will You Hold Me
When Wrong, Will You Scold Me
When Lost Will You Find Me?
I think he's asking Jesus to cradle him like a baby, reaffirming his infantilism. Maybe even help his next album "Bigger than Jesus" album sell 300 million copies so he can pay off his loan from Sony.
But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human
More of the same 'turn the other cheek' like Jesus would do ho-ha.
Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's
Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You'll Be There For Me
This appears to be a precursor to his 'Leave Me Alone' single or maybe just more cries to Jesus, perhaps in frustration over the loss of his 'King of Pop' title.
And Care Enough To Bear Me
(Lead Me)
(Lay Your Head Lowly)
(Softly Then Boldly)
...
sissy dribble removed
...
(Carry Me There)
Now with the ultra creepy final verse. The music fades to just a synth drum beat. Micheal speaks instead of singing. His voice strains to hold back the tears. A man truly in love with himself and Jesus is pouring out his heart for a movie starring an orca from a Mexican theme park.
In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
Will Jesus still care if I have to sell the Neverland ranch?
In My Trials
And My Tripulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
If my next album doesn't sell a billion copies in Japan I will have to sell Paul McCartney the rights to his music back to him.
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.
|
|
| What is the life span of ass germs? |
[21 Nov 2002|02:32pm] |
About a week ago I was feeling a little ill. You know how it goes, you feel a little warm, suspect that you have a fever. But it's not enough to just feel like you have a fever, you must verify it by taking your temperature. That way you have a legitimate reason to mope around the house soliciting sympathy.
Since I don't normally keep any mental notes on the locations of our thermometer supply I asked the wife were I could find them. After receiving the instructions I took a quick look in the general direction of where they should have been. But after such an exhaustive search I came up empty. So on to the kid's bathroom and in the center row of the empty medicine cabinet there it was. I picked it up and observed it was yellow. "Strange", I thought, they usually aren't this color. And why wasn't I told there was one here? Deciding not to put too much thought into it I put it under my tongue and headed downstairs.
I'm downstairs waiting for the result so I can commence whining about my ailments, I explained to my wife how I didn't find the thermometers she spoke of but how I found this other one. "Is that the anal one?" she asked. "Uh, I don't know, is the anal one yellow" I said with the thermometer deeply rooted under my tongue.
Well now I know why they color the butt ones yellow, so you'll notice the color and not stick it in your mouth. It has to have been over 3 years since that thermometer has seen the inside on an anus I'm sure any germs have long since died
|
|
| Tales from the Commute |
[03 Nov 2002|09:37pm] |
Well lately I've been spending a lot of time in the car comuting to and from work. This means plenty of time for stories. The guy I commute with had a few good ones that I thought I'd share with the general public. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Man's Best Friend
Airplanes have junkyards just like cars have junkyards. And what would a junkyard be with a dog. So naturally this junkyard had a trusty dog to guard the lot. One day the dog came into the office with something in his mouth. At first the foreman didn't think anything of it. There was always plenty of junk that the dog would pick up and play with. Once the dog got closer it looked like a bone. Which was odd since he didn't usually feed the dog bones. He pulled the bone out of the dog's mouth. Turns out that it was a piece of a human jaw. This jaw bone fragment was complete with teeth and and fillings. I guess it's pretty common for the FAA and the NTSB to leave behind pieces after they clean up and investigate a aircraft wreckage.
The Sound of One Plane Crashing
Up North there is an airport near the forest. There was this guy who had a house with some property near the airport. His property was densely wooded just as the surrounding area was. One quiet night he was sitting at home and heard what he thought was the sound of a plane crashing. He heard the sound of an airplane flying low overheard, then the engine was silent. He called the authorities to report a possible crash. While he waited he decided to go out and investigate. He headed out with flashlight in hand to the area where he thought the plane would have ended up. He searched all around but could find no evidence that an airplane had crash.
Puzzled by this he stopped to think about where the plane might have ended up. He felt something drip on his head. He pointed the flashlight up to where the drip may have come from. There in the trees above him was the airplane. It was flipped upside down with the canopy sheared off. The two occupants were still hanging upside down by there seatbelts. It was their blood that dripped on him as he stood underneath.
Anyone want to take a ride with me?
|
|
| This used to be my playground... |
[09 Oct 2002|10:30am] |
Over the past few weeks I've been taking some photos of the picturesque San Lorenzo 'village'.
San Lorenzo Communty Center
Many a youthful afternoon was spent at the 'duck pond'. Off in the distance lies 'Via' ville, block after block of WWII era tract homes.
David E. Martin Elementary
In the center of the picure is a cluster of grey buildings next to a field. The now defunct David E. Martin Elementary, my home for 8 care free years (K-7). It had the charm of military housing. I can still remember the air raid drills.
Arroyo High School, San Lorenzo, USA
Clearly visible is the Arroyo track. This is were I spent many after school afternoon learning that 'winning isn't everything'. As long as you can finish ahead of one girl it's a personal victory.
Did you ever notice everything looks better at 2,500 feet?
|
|
| I can't stand to fly... |
[23 Sep 2002|09:08pm] |
I've had the good fortune lately to commute to work by plane. It's only a short 35 minutes flight but when it's clear out the views are spectacular. Over all it's not much faster than driving but definitely more enjoyable. Here's a few photos I've taken over the past few weeks.
When the lights go down in the city, and the sun shines on the bay...
Arroyo High School, San Lorenzo USA
Islands in the stream, that is what we are...
|
|
| Ice Cream Baby Fan Art |
[08 Sep 2002|09:10pm] |
Well I'm just tickled pink when the adoring Ice Cream Baby public gives back a little. Here is some Ice Cream Baby fan art from Rob. Good job Rob, maybe I'll pass the creative torch to you now.
-Willie
|
|
| Air brush my soul |
[20 Aug 2002|11:40pm] |
Recently I was browsing through some new issues of Playboy. It had been quite a few years since I had actually looked through the magazine. What I saw was rather disappointing. Not only were there hardly any nude pictures but almost all were 'enhanced' blondes. Not that I have anything against blondes mind you. I think the most disturbing was that every single picture that involved skin was heavily air brushed. I’m not sure if they actually use an ‘air brush’ anymore, it’s most like done digitally.
From the whites of the model's eyes to her toes every single wrinkle, blemish and imperfection was removed. Leaving behind an almost fake, soulless picture where there is no detail in the face. It's actually creepy. It kind of reminds me of Mattel’s line of dolls What’s Her Face. I certainly had a hard time getting aroused from these periodicals.
Mattel’s What’s Her Face doll or Playboy's Miss September?
In the centerfold model usually has a few pictures of before she turn to the skin trade, you know a high school cheerleader shot, vacation on the lake. They even air brushed those pictures too. The pictures end up with a Children Of The Corn look. They might as well just use a computer to generate the whole girl, it's almost the same effect as what they have now
|
|
| You are what you eat. |
[14 Aug 2002|09:44am] |
This morning I ran through a McDonald's drive thru for a little breakfast fare. I choose my usual sausage biscut and hash browns. When I was getting out of my car I noticed a big wet spot on the passenger seat. "Wait a minute" I thought, I didn't spill any liquids this morning where did that come from? I picked up my little bag of deep fried delights and the bottom was soaking wet from grease.
There was so much grease that is soaked into the car seat. When I inspected my food it was if the 'chef' poured on and extra 1/2 cup of grease for seasoning.
Some how I still managed to eat the whole thing but I think it will come back to haunt me in about 45 mintues.
|
|
| New York, London, Paris, Munich ... |
[05 Aug 2002|08:38pm] |
Radio, video
Boogie with a suitcase
Your livin' in a disco,
Forget about the rat race.
Let's do the milkshake, sellin' like a hotcake
Try some buy some fee-fi-fo-fum sum.
talk about, Pop musik
Dance to the Pop Mart,
top of the food chain.
Listen to the countdown,
They're playin' our song again.
|
|
| Jon, what did you do to your daughter? |
[29 Jul 2002|01:35pm] |
You may have already heard the tragic news about Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton ending their 2 year marriage. In case you haven't heard and are drawn to this 'news' take a gander here. I wonder how long before she starts the appointments to remove the 'Billy Bob' tattoo on her arm.
However today's news (or gossip) is that Angelina wants her 5 vials of blood that she gave to Billy Bob back. Two years ago when they were still head over heals in love they gave each other vials of their own blood. Perhaps traditional gifts were to banal. I guess her fear is that the angry Billy Bob will put some kind of curse on her and use the gift of blood against her. Maybe they could work this angle into the next Tomb Raider movie. In his quest for french fried potatoes, Karl steals Laura Croft's mojo and she wants it back. Hilarity and CGI fueled action ensues.
|
|
| Curse this nutrious American diet! |
[27 Jul 2002|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lethargic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag |
] |
I'm gettin' a little tired of having to cut my finger nails all the time. They grow too fast me thinks.
|
|
| The waiting is the hardest part... |
[25 May 2002|09:42pm] |
|
Well 'friends' don't expect many entries here. Please go to the home of Willie's Corner hosted be RetroCRUSH. www.retrocrush.com/bigwill
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
retrowillie's journal
